• 00:10 i should probably try and get some sleep #
• 07:33 OMG OMG OMG ME AND @HAVENWARD AND DAVID ARE GOING PLATINUM TO CONCON #
• 17:10 OMG OMG OMG TODAY HAS BEEN THE MOST AWESOMEST DAYS OF AWESOME DAYS! :D #
• 18:32 bit.ly/26DyFk THE MOST AWESOMEST OF AWESOME DAYS IN THE HISTORY OF AWESOME DAYS! #
• 18:36 You are switched on today, yet your energetic buzz can be over... More for Leo bit.ly/SXp2X #
• 19:10 sometimes, i really hate being a woman #
• 19:13 What Do People Love About You? - tinyurl.com/ya7papm - People Love That You Are Open and Confident #blogthings #
• 20:13 ok. so. some bloke on eastenders just did the 'how do you put a giraffe in the fridge' thing! #
• 20:27 bit.ly/1I6iNC Kane RPS, Chris/Steve, snuggling on a Sunday morning #
• 21:28 i... i... zoned out a bit there. what hgappened in the last hour? #
• 22:30 so, once upon a time @havenward promised me ihop. Will this happen in portland? #

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Top 5 recent musical purchases
Bon Jovi - The Circle
Enya - Paint The Sky With Stars
Bowling For Soup - Sorry For Partyin'
The Life Of Riley - Long Way Home EP
Boyzone - Back Again, No Matter What

OMG OMG OMG OMG TODAY HAS BEEN THE MOST AWESOMEST OF AWESOME DAYS IN THE HISTORY OF AWESOME DAYS!

It started off with me getting mine, havenward and David's Platinum passes to CONCON *bounces*

Got to work - we'll ignore the shitty drive through fog because this is a happy post - only to find out that we had been kicked out of our training room. So we all trailed upstairs to the call centre, fulling expecting to continue to answer letters etc like we had been last week.
But no!
Our trainers threw something rather unexpected on us: We we going live on the phones. Yes, the phones. As in answering calls. Real calls. From real people *flails*

We started off in teams. I was with Jim & Steph and we rotated who was answering the calls and who was listening in.
By lunchtime, mind, I was antsing to just... DO it myself. So, I spent the afternoon actually going solo. And by the end of the day, my timing stats were in line with the rest of the call centre.

We're supposed to get our quality control reports tomorrow so i'm quite looking forward to it.

AND we got our lockers

AND our first actual shifts for the first two weeks of December:
W/C 07/12/09
Mon 7th: 09:00 - 17:00
Tue 8th: 10:30 - 18:30
Weds 9th: 08:00 - 16:00
Thur 10th: 08:00 - 15:30
Fri 11th: 12:00 - 20:00

W/C 14/12/09
Mon 14th: 11:00 - 20:00
Tue 15th: 10:00 - 18:30
Weds 16th: OFF
Thur 18th: 08:30 - 17:00
Fri 18th: 08:00 - 16:00
Sat 19th: 08:00 - 13:00

ROLL ON TOMORROW DUDE!

No, really, I haven't gone right wing on you all here. I swear. Let me explain.

So, as I know it, the DSM only considers paraphilias (kinks & fetishes) to be harmful under the context of causes distress in everyday life [and that needs to be distress from actual interference, not just a society that doesn't get it] or involves non-consenting parties (pedophilia, frotteurism, etc.). Some people have paraphilias that really are mental disorders for them... it really DOES screw with their lives. (And, of course, having therapy to get rid of these paraphilias doesn't work, just like trying to do reparative therapy to remove YOUR perfectly ok fetish won't work. The best you can do is keep the harmful fetishes under control.) But most people have fetishes and kinks that don't apply under that criteria, and therefore are perfectly ok. And that's the reason I won't sign the NCSF's petition on removing paraphilias from the DSM. (BTW, to those not in the know, the NCSF is the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom. The best way I can describe them to my hacker friends is that they're the sex/kink/poly equivalent of the EFF. [And to my sex friends, the EFF, or the Electronic Frontier Foundation, is the NCSF of online and digital rights & freedoms.]) The NCSF's heart is totally in the right place, don't get me wrong here, but they don't realize the specifics of it, and how it would cause harm. People with paraphilias that have actually taken over their lives need help getting their lives back. To not be able to do that anymore would cause more harm than good. (See: my previous post and "no diagnosis = no diagnosis code = no insurance coverage") (Also, removing paraphilias from the DSM would mean that predatory paraphilias would end up being removed as well, and I know that's not what the NCSF had in mind. Granted, I don't know all the details of their petition, but I hope it at least includes a part that would keep things like pedophilia in there.)

However... if I have my knowledge of what's in the DSM wrong and it really does consider them ALL to be mental illness or harmful, then the definition needs to be updated or changed, but NOT removed.

I encourage others to do research themselves and to decide for themselves. And if they decide as I have, I encourage them to contact the NCSF and let them know why they're against it. And if it turns out that the DSM needs to be changed, I encourage people to contact the NCSF and ask them to change the main focus of their cause drive to CHANGING the DSM diagnosis instead of removing it completely.

HOW THE NYC MUSIC SCENE WORKS

Person 1: Do you like A?
Person 2: I’ve not heard of them.
Person 1: They sound like B and C.

Introductions to their music, or the musicians take place.

C: Oh so you know A and B? You probably know D E F G and H, then?

Person 2 will then be introduced or know those already.

It filters until the whole alphabet of musicians and their friends, their friends’ friends and some of their enemies are all known to you and somehow, you could quote two or three of each of their songs and have a compulsion to see them sing or to go for drinks with them.

Eventually, you realise that you’ve subconsciously been telling those in the alphabet about other members of the alphabet that they weren’t familiar with and helping draw together a more cohesive collective of letters, until one day an entire semblance of sentences exist where the letters have begun to socialise, and you can overhear paragraphs forming.

I mean, unless you’re a rapper. Then there’s no vowels or consonence who want to know you, and you’ll be told that the Capitals and the lower case are at war over who’s got a better position in the bookshelf of life.

Tch, alright. So once upon a time, before I even KNEW what the Twilight series was, before it was even big - my friend had left the first three books at my house, since she told me that I HAD to check them out. I was in the middle of a couple of other books, so I said "whatever".

However, I don't like holding on to people's stuff that isn't mine, so when I got those books out of the way, I picked up the first book. Most of it was me going "ugh - oh God, this writing's horrible - wha... no... she SERIOUSLY said that?" Yeah. It was a tough read for me, but then my SECOND downfall came into play - I don't like to start things and never finish them.

So I picked up the second book, CONVINCED that it couldn't be as shitty as the first, because the first was likely just build-up for something epic.

How wrong I was.

The second book was, in fact, several times WORSE than the first.

And following suit, the third, while not AS bad as the second, was a steaming pile of shit.

So there were the three books in my house - you'd think that the pain would be over at this point, right?

WRONG.

JUST after I'd finished the third book, my friend's birthday came up - and what did I get her? The fourth and final book of the series D:

It basically went like this:

"Happy birthday!"
"OMG, thanks so much!"
"*yoink!* I'll be borrowing that. Have it back to you soon"!

So, like a motorist staring at a car wreck, I read through the fourth book of this infernal series - without spoiling it for anyone else who reads this, this thing sucked more and more and MORE throughout its entirety, until it reached its climax - the WORST FRIGGING FIGHT in the history of a book. EVER. I haven't found anything yet that sucks worse. It was PAIIIIINFUL.

So. Next time someone tells me that I really need to read some young adult fiction since it's so hip, trendy and awesome... I'll likely just hit them.

--case p.

I know this sounds totally bass-ackwards coming from my mouth, but I'm totally cool with GID being in the DSM and with people being (properly) diagnosed with it.

Before you all start yelling at me saying how being gender-different isn't a disorder, it's just the way we are, let me say... I AGREE WITH YOU. As someone who was born with girlie parts, who was assigned the gender female, but is genderfluid, I know better than most that sometimes I'm a girl, sometimes I'm a boy, and mostly I'm just me, which is more boy than girl.

Then why do I want it in the DSM? Why do I want people to be diagnosed with it?

Because lots of us need therapy dealing with our genders (NOT to change us, but to help us navigate them, and to help us navigate a society that sucks re: our genders), and plenty of people who are FtM and MtF would like to have hormones and/or surgery.

But you know what? INSURANCES WON'T COVER THESE THINGS W/O A DIAGNOSIS. No diagnosis = no diagnosis code = no appropriate treatment. No therapy. No hormones. No surgery. As someone who's gone through years of therapy, and often times have had to deal with BS diagnoses on paper just so I could get the therapy I desperately needed, I understand this more than most. (Not to mention being someone whose Mom worked as an office manager and did all the billing and insurance company work in a large psychiatric practice for many many years.)

So before trying to get rid of GID, how about changing the insurance system so that trans issues are covered? Because right now, I know lots of folks are fighting for trans stuff to be covered at all.

Or, of course, there's always the other option. The controversial one that I'm not supposed to talk about. (But I'm going to anyway, even though I'm terrified I'm going to lose some of my friends.) Which is the option that maybe it is a disorder... BUT THAT'S OK. There's this prevalent thought that if you have a disease or a disorder, that it's BAD and that it must be removed, or at least managed and the person pitied.

As a person who's had to live with a disorder all hir life, and who's been diagnosed with one since age 8, I've TOTALLY fought with the whole self-esteem + acceptance of what I have thing. I've totally gone "if what I am is ok, if there's 'nothing wrong with me', how come there's clearly something wrong with me? " Fuck, I STILL struggle with this. (Ask morningboon about the freaking out, screaming and crying.)You may say left, right and center that being ADHD is ok, or even that there's "no such thing; rather, a society that's not set up for you", but it NEVER changes the fact that I still have my symptoms, and I STILL struggle with everyday tasks. And when you're in the middle of breaking down because you can't do something stupid and simple, it's hard to remember that you are still an ok person.

I think the problem is we equate "ok person" with "normal"... STILL. Despite our acceptance of diversity, we still want to see that diversity as "normal". Which I understand. But I also realize that some things AREN'T normal, and what's fucking wrong with that? Why is it that not normal is judged as bad, and normal is judged as good? Why can't we say "I'm abnormal, and I'm good." and "I'm not normal, and I'm ok."? Normal doesn't mean good or even ok. Think of it more like "average" or "standard deviation". (Would that be sigma 0 or sigma 1? That is, what's the top of the bell curve called? I forget.)

With transgender/GID, the truth is, external gender DOESN'T match internal gender. And so some corrections need to be made. AND WHAT NEEDS TO CHANGE IS THE EXTERNAL GENDER, *NOT* WHAT'S INSIDE. Saying that "nothing's wrong" and "we're fully normal" is screwing ourselves over. There IS something wrong, and many transpeople know it. Their outsides don't match their insides. But that being wrong DOESN'T mean it's BAD. And it doesn't mean we need to fix the insides to match the outsides. Society has tried that, and it doesn't work. (Not to mention in our world we find it a lot more distasteful to try to change someone's personality than their bodies... or have we? [Therapy does seem to be more acceptable than body mods.]) We've found that matching the outsides to the insides works a hell of a lot better, so it's what we do. We don't do "reparative therapy", we play with hormones and clothing and surgery to correct what Nature got wrong, or however you choose to put it.

So, yeah, maybe trans IS a disorder. I mean, it's clear the outsides don't match the insides. But the disordered part is the OUTSIDE, not the inside.

And for those who feel that they don't want it to be called a disorder because of the shame associated with disorders... what about me and my ADHD? And my depression? And my Seasonal Affective Disorder? If I have to live with at least 2 mental disorders and learn to be ok with myself despite that horrible word, perhaps you can learn to be ok with yourself despite that diagnosis. How is it fair to me? By you saying that you need to get rid of the word "disorder" in the term, you're saying that there's something wrong with having a disorder. Which implies that there's something wrong with me having ADHD, SAD, and whatever other Ds, which brings us back around to "if there's nothing wrong with me, why is there something wrong with me?". Nowhere in the word "disorder" is there a word that means "bad". There are parts that mean "lack of order". (And, once again, we assign the value judgement "good" to "order", and let me tell you... as a naturally disordered ADHD person [I can't keep anything tidy, chaos feels better to me than too much order], I get real fucking sick of that value judgement.)

And for those whom the diagnosis doesn't actually help, who are just gender-variant but don't require any kind of physical correction, because they're ok with their bodies, because they're just tomboys or femmeguys, I'm sorry you got misdiagnosed.

And for those who are genderqueer or genderfluid or simply no-ho, no-op, but still feel like the body is wrong, then good on you for choosing (or having to live with) the body you have.

And for those who are genderqueer or genderfluid or no-ho, no-op but are ok with the bodies they have, then good on you for being ok with your body.

I guess in the end I'm saying that if we're going to keep GID as a diagnosis, then the problem isn't having GID as a diagnosis, but the problem is the way it was treated in the past. Remember, diagnoses don't necessarily have to be thrown out... you can just change the treatment.

EDIT: The more I'm learning about the specifics of GID, the more I'm learning how it can be used to screw gender-variant kids over. I think the diagnosis as it lays would be more helpful to be used for adults only. And the whole part of (paraphrased) "causes distress in the home or workplace", whereas that's standard criteria for other disorders, and works well for them (which is why I do actually support paraphilias being in the DSM... but that's another post I'm going to post momentarily), can't really be an accurate assessor when you're talking about a behavior that's considered (wrongly) socially unacceptable. It's society that's fucked up here, not the person.

Questions? Comments (hopefully not too hateful)? Lemme at them!

• 08:31 GOOD MORNING TWITTER! :D #
• 13:27 sunday roast has left me utterly full and curled up on the couch purring happily #
• 14:02 wheee i wont £10 on the lotto last night! \o/ #
• 14:34 i... think its possible i just accidentally came out to my sister... whoops? #
• 14:45 How Do You Tell the Truth? - tinyurl.com/yctvc96 - You Are Honest and Open #blogthings #
• 15:17 *sporks farmville* #
• 17:56 *leaves out a plate of strawberry jam and cheese sandwiches* #
• 19:13 RT @rikkisixx: #CONCON conthecon.com and conthecon.org are NOW the new site addresses #
• 19:19 oh. god. my tummy it is all over the place! i can't ebleive i have butterflies over this *facepalm* #
• 21:04 RT @SteveCarlsonFan: RT @audeamus22: Vote for Steve Carlson - She Loves here! bit.ly/ok3JY PLEASE!! I'LL LOVE YOU LONG TIME! #
• 22:59 anyone seen my inhaler? *flails, forgets how to breathe* #
• 23:12 *flails* #
• 23:14 RT @DarlingLisa: #concon Stop reloading the page they need to reset the server and addtional load isn't going to make that happen any faster #

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Stolen from just about everyone... the DVD commentary meme!

Pick a paragraph (or any passage less than 500 words) from any fanfic I've written, and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the character's heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, lots of awful puns, and anything else that you'd expect to find on a DVD commentary track.

Sunday Stealing: The Strange Question Meme, Part 2
26. What color is your watch? Blue. Its a blue Casio Baby G that I've had forever.
27. What do you think of when you hear “Australia”? Kangaroos, koalas
28. Would you strip for money? sure. not that anyone would want to give me money but hey, it could be fun!
29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Food does not get eaten in Lotte!
30. What is your favorite number? 6
31. Who’s the last person you talked to on the phone? Nicole
32. Any plans today? Only buying the ConCon packages when they go on sale tonight
33. In how many states have you lived? none.
UK counties I've lived in are Devon, Shropshire, Cambridgeshire and the West Midlands
US States I've visited are Illinois, California, Nevada, Arizona, Texas
34. Biggest annoyance right now? being skint
35. Last song listened to? Good Charlotte – I Just Wanna Live
36. Can you say the alphabet backwards? I've just thought about it and no, I can't
37. Do you have a maid service clean your house? God that would be lovely though, wouldn't it?
38. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? I have this old pair of blue Skechers that I've had since the year dot and I literally live in them. They're falling apart, holey, stink to high heaven but oh i love those shoes!
39. Are you jealous of anyone? don't think so, no
40. Is anyone jealous of you? I doubt it
41. Do you love anyone? I... think so. Maybe?
42. Do any of your friends have children? Plenty of them, yup
43. What do you usually do during the day? I'm usually at work
44. Do you hate anyone that you know right now? nope
45. Do you use the word hello daily? probably not - I'm more of an 'hey' or 'hi' person
46. What color is your car? Silver
47. What size wedding ring do you wear? n/a
48. Are you thinking about someone right now? heh yup
49. Have you ever been to Six Flags? nope
50. How did you get your worst scar? It's on my left knee and it was a cut down to the bone that I got when I was like 7 caused by running with my hands in my pockets

So I completey forgot to post the wibble-a-thon yesterday but then my head was all over the place with planning for ConCon. I have never known plans to change so many freaking times in one day: The day started with mum giving me the money for a Platinum pass *flails* Then, I realised that for the price of one platinum, I could get two gold and get havenward a ticket as well. Then, over the course of the day, mum kept giving me more money, so there was a diamond pass each. By the end of the day, havenward's mum is paying a platinum and my mum is paying two platinum so me, her AND David are all gonna be platinum.
As are charlies_dragon and amara_m
Plus raggedy_edge and canadiangoddess are gonna be there too
OMG ITS GONNA BE THE MOST FANTASTIC WEEKEND EVER AND I CAN'T WAIT AND I'VE NOT STOP FLAILING OR GRINNING OR BOUNCING AND SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

So now, all I have to do is manage to get those platinum passes when they go on sale this evening. Or, in the early hours of the morning as it is for me!

*takes a deep breath*
So, its possible I might be a little excited
LMFAO

I shall now leave you with ( the morning wibble )

I'd love to buy the Irwin 2000 11.5" Princess Serenity doll. I'd like for it to be loose but with her shoes, accessories, and dress. My birthday is coming up and I'd really like to get her. Thanks! I have feedback as the first post on this journal and on EBay as ladymax07.

(Sorry f-list. Making this post for a want add in a comm. XD)

• 07:58 GOOD MORNING TWITTER! #
• 08:03 so. um. my mum is giving me the money for a platinum concon ticket. fucking hell! #
• 08:16 *hands toast and oj around to the peoples still awake* #
• 10:21 hey guys, voting time for @steviecarlson on hosstheboss again! bit.ly/ok3JY #
• 11:36 there we go. house tidied. just got to vacuum #
• 12:44 om nom ham and cheese toasties! #
• 14:41 What Comic Book Sound Are You? - tinyurl.com/yayol74 - You Are "SPLAT!" #blogthings #
• 14:50 How Should You De-stress? - tinyurl.com/ycfzs8z - You Should Meditate #blogthings #
• 15:52 i have just spent an hour with a baby. and not killed it. aren't you proud of me? #
• 15:54 and i'm gonna be a great aunt for the second time in May. uhhh yay? #
• 16:35 am v annoyed at the whole gold ticket only having ONE autograph though.... cant afford two diamond :( #
• 16:40 What Fall Fruit or Vegetable Are You Most Like? - tinyurl.com/yku8b4q - You Are Apples #blogthings #
• 18:32 so. huh. looks like i'm getting me a platinum pass after all? AWESOME! #
• 20:04 *bounces around twitter like a slightly excited manacal llama* #
• 20:25 RT @CindyD1000: Photos of upcoming #Leverage ep filmed at the Governor Hotel (the location for #ConCon) bit.ly/3RINC0 #
• 20:53 my stomach keeps leaping into my mouth. just... nerves and excitement. i'm gonna be a flipping WRECK come March! #
• 22:18 Top 3 weekly #lastfm artists: Steve Carlson - 21. Simple Plan - 17. Mest - 14. bit.ly/198hEV #

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• 07:28 whoops forgot to wake up to download supernatural. must remember to get it tonight! will have to avoid internets! #
• 07:37 i... should prpobably get out of bed, get washed and dressed and go to work... #
• 07:50 and now, to work, i go *runs out the door* see you tonight! #
• 16:46 home from work and now poking the internets to give me spn and bones! #
• 16:47 just voted "Las Vegas, NV (USA)" on "What's your favorite city?" vote too ➔ bit.ly/1ixFUu #
• 16:52 gotta be VEGAS baby! <3 bit.ly/1ixFUu #
• 17:04 ... apparnetly, i'll have spn in 5 houss and bones in 13... #
• 17:28 PRESSING PLAY! #
• 17:41 You may be very magnanimous with your grand gestures today, bu... More for Leo bit.ly/SXp2X #
• 17:52 *chokes on pizza @ spn* #
• 18:19 *throws a few exclamation marks around twitter* !!!!! !!!!! !!!!! !!!!! !!!!! !!!!! #
• 18:23 please be aware that @havenward might actually need protecting from a ever so slightly hyper giggly bouncing llama! #
• 18:39 i was on the roof of my car, playing my air guitar, nobody can tell me I wasn't born to be a star #
• 18:56 so, twitter, please tell me: how would YOU put a giraffe in a fridge? #
• 19:27 RT @havenward: Don't forget! #Leverage's #ConCon website launches TONIGHT at 11:59pm EST! #
• 19:38 awww fireworks finsihed #
• 19:44 and now Bones is joining Criminal Minds in making me want to throw up #
• 20:02 bones finished. what to watch next? #
• 21:26 somethings are definitely more fun with two. not that they're less fun wiht one but... y'know... #
• 22:05 *sprawls out on the nearest comfy person* #

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Guild first of faction champions in TOGC10 tonight! :-)

New crossbow, boots, and trinket! Theos is a very, VERY happy hunter who is finally able to consistently break 5k dps in 10m raids now. She is also a very happy hunter who is included in the 10m progression group now!!!

Goddamnit I'm never going to end up quitting WoW. ;_; ♥

• 06:40 *yawns and stretches* mornin twitter #
• 07:46 hi ho hi ho its off to work i go #
• 12:07 Why am i walking around carrying an empty red bull can...? #
• 17:03 work are starting to drive me insane with the whole chasing references thing *growls at them* #
• 17:28 *offers twitter a big plte of cottage pie* #
• 17:31 *sigh* MU not working again tonight for me #
• 18:33 twitpic.com/odqqr - new outfit for the work Christmas party #
• 18:47 huh. so there IS a house attached to Gibb's basement! #
• 19:13 mmm penelope garcia... i can has, yes? #
• 19:30 ok. so. this weeks Criminal Minds is actually squicking me out *gags* #
• 19:57 it feels later than 8pm #
• 20:17 i seem to be in a snugglymood tonight #
• 21:03 is it too early to go to bed? #

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